I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
