remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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