i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
