Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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