All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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