I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
