i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
