You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
