so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
