I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
