I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
