i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
