Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
