oh god the rape fog is back!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
