She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
