You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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