Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
