oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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