can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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