Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
