Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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