It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
