Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
