You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
