also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
