worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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