plz talk dirty to me
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
