the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
