I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
