I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
