Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
