I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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