Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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