You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
