Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
only you would photoshop your dick
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
