all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
bring money and cleavage
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
