oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
