just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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