The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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