Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
