I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
