Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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