Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
