Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
