Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
