babies were throwing up all over the place
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
