oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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