If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
