party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
