you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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